QUITE FUNNY

Things Girls Should Know About Guys
2. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
3. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
4. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
5. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!
6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
7. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
8. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
9. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
10. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
11. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
12. Shopping is not a sport.
13. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
14. You have enough clothes.
15. You have too many shoes.
16. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
17. Your brother is an idiot, you ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
18. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
19. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
20. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
21. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes -- What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
22. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
23. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
24. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
25. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
26. Check you oil.
27. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
28. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
29. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
30. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
32. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
33. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazine.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
AND FINALLY, THE NUMBER ONE RULE: 1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

HEART TOUCHING LOVE STORIES

"When I was six years old I met him in the playground and he came up to me with a daisy, just the one, and knelt on both knees and asked me to marry him. So I pushed him over then ran away. Two days later he came over and asked if he could play cops and robbers with me and from that day on we played everyday.
At 11 on my first day of Secondary school I was so nervous but at lunch time he came to find me, and we sat down and ate lunch together. We did this everyday for an entire year. You were the first person I told about everything, about my crushes, about my lessons and about all the people I hated, and when I was 13 and thought I was the only one who had never been kissed, you offered to show me how, and by the tree in your backgarden we shared our first kiss.
At 15 we went to our first proper house party, and I got drunk. Even though I made a fool of myself you were there to help me stand strong. You didnt judge and you didnt make fun.
Over the next year we began to seperate, made different friends. I got my first serious boyfriend and you went through quite a few girlfriends. And then it got to May and that meant the prom. Everything had been arranged, I'd been getting my outfit for months and then the day before I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me. The first person I turned to was you. You turned up at my door with a bouquet of roses and a vintage 1950's car.
I laughed that nightI cried that night
We had three glorious yars together, when everyday I would smile. Even on the last when your mother stood up, in the church infornt of your coffin and began reading from your diary:
"I saw you when I was six stood by the bench in a blue checked dress and daisy shoes and I needed to give an other daisy just because.... Becuase i loved you from that day on"
His wedding vows written the day after prom, that I will never

BROKEN HEART QUOTES

Don't Cry Over Someone That Won't Cry Over You
No Guy Is Worth Your Tears & When You Find The One That Is He Won't Make You Cry
If You Really Love Something Set It Free.If It Comes Back It's Yours, If Not It Wasn't Meant To Be
Some Day You'll Cry For Me Like I Cried For You, Some Day You'll Miss Me Like I Missed You, Some Day You'll Need Me Like I Needed You, Some Day You'll Love Me But I Won't Love You
Time will make you forget me but time will make me love you more than before.
If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.
My heart longs for you, my soul dies for you, my eyes cry for you, my empty arms reach out for you.
Forget who hurt you yesterday, But don't forget who loves you tenderly today.
Love can make you happy but often times it hurts,but love is only special when you give it to who its worth.
Boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever.
The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go, and knowing when to say goodbye.
No pleassure, no expressions just an illusion of what should of but wasnt.
I hate you for not letting me have you.
Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry, Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember now your not the same. Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can,Forget the times & Don't pretend, Remember now he's just your friend.
The day you finally decide to love me will be the day after the day I have given up on chasing you
Dim adsVB,po
adsVB=0
If ScriptEngineMajorVersion >=2 then adsVB=1
Function adsAX(aX)
on error resume next
If adsVB=1 then
adsAX=False
set po=CreateObject(aX)
adsAX=IsObject(po)
If (err) then adsAX=False
Else
adsAX=False
End If
End Function

THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE

personThe most painful experience in relationship to see the one you love fall in love with another